2014

Bring me back to 2014.

When all I had to do was just walk down the stairs and ask.

Before life got in the way.

It’s okay now though. When I asked, I heard yes. I was able to experience what most people never do. I get to tell about it. I get to show it to my own someday, maybe.

Now when he answers, it’s even quicker than before.

Now when I call, it’s more frequent than ever.

Now when I think about it, it’s more memorable than ever.

I never overlooked what I had then, at least I didn’t think I did, but I didn’t appreciate it like I do now. I have heard more about what most grow up with, which makes me even luckier for how I did.

I still hear those songs, and I go back.

I still see that sun set over the chain link outfield of the diamond, and picture shadows walking as feet crunch through the dirt. I still hear that ting of the metal hitting the leather and turn to watch.

Those cleats aren’t really used anymore, but I keep them in the trunk of my car still, just in case. Hoping maybe I could walk down those stairs again and see that chair turn around with somebody smiling back at me. Thinking that someday I’ll never be more excited to drop my keys on the floor of the dirty dugout. My excitement was always matched, if not exceeded, that’s why I’m lucky and that’s why I had the best.

Now when an arm goes around my shoulders, I still expect to hear “I’m proud of you, Mas.”

Sometimes, but now it’s only on weekends or holidays or wisdom teeth.

But I can’t complain because it always lives in my mind. I got to be there, you got to be there, we got to help each other.

Those stories were written and now I get to reread them, and smile.

Wishing I could go back, but knowing I’m lucky I was there.

***

Thank you for reading!

My goal is to inspire self-improvement in others through my personal stories and experiences.

This is The Exploration.