Agreeability

“It is a sad fate for a man to die too well known to everybody else, yet still unknown to himself.”

The more and more I find myself spending time with people I don’t know, the more I think about being liked.

Everybody wants to feel that sense of belonging, but sometimes I wonder if that sense of belonging we all crave is detrimental.

HOW AGREEABLE CAN YOU BE BEFORE YOU LOSE YOURSELF?

I always consider the fact that the more popular you are, the more other people like you. But when you look at some of the most popular people in the world, they are sometimes the most lonely people in the world.

When everyone is gone, who is the person that looks back at them in the mirror?

Do they even recognize that person?

Agreeability is something you are taught. You are taught to worry constantly about other people’s feeling and emotions. I believe this is a good thing, but only to an extent.

For me, I have always been emotionally aware of how others feel in any given situation. This gift that I possess has also been my greatest weakness. Because I am so aware of how what I do and what I say affects others, I am extremely cautious with how I act. This has caused me to have a hard time being myself around new people, which is when I should be the most genuine version of myself.

I AM TOO APOLOGETIC.

I’m sure most of you can relate to this. You say sorry way too much. You are sorry for what you really feel. You are sorry for how you make others feel.

Should you even be sorry? You can’t control how they feel so why does it matter how they feel if you say what you feel?

If you weren’t always trying to be the most agreeable person in the room, you would probably be a lot more happy with yourself. You wouldn’t go to bed feeling like you didn’t say what you wanted to. You wouldn’t look in the mirror and wonder who you really are.

But on the flipside, would you feel like you belong?

It would be very hard to find that sense of belonging if you were constantly driving people away with your blunt truth.

PEOPLE CRAVE AUTHENTICITY.

The more real you are, the more people you attract.

So rather than constantly being agreeable, maybe it’s worth it to offend some people some time. In reality, the people who are meant to be around you will appreciate your honesty and want to continue being around you.

Maybe I am finding my sense of belonging in the wrong people because I am too agreeable.

Because I always say yes, I have attracted a group that cannot fulfill me.

Over time I have realized that the realer I am with how I act around people, the better friends I attract. I’m talking real, lasting friendships. Ones that don’t only give you a sense of belonging, but also help you find fulfillment in yourself.

Again comes the question:

IS BEING AGREEABLE WORTH IT?

Can you make everyone happy? No.

It’s impossible to make everyone happy. You can only do so much. The hardest part for me is accepting the fact that people might just hate me for who I am. But that shouldn’t matter if I like me.

It takes years to figure this out. I come back to this so often that sometimes I feel like I am running in circles.

Deep down, I think I have figured it out, but sometimes I feel like I never will.

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Thank you for reading!

My goal is to inspire self-improvement in others through my personal stories and experiences.

This is The Exploration.