Fight against psyche

“You cannot be at peace until you realize nothing is lacking.”

1000 miles an hour.

Eyes closed. Reassure. Stress. Confirm. Deep breath. Panic. Deep Breath. Twitch. Flip over. Open eyes. Slowly close. Deep breath. Itch. Ponder. Reassure. Deep thought. Listen.

It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s okay.

When you want your mind to just shut off, it never will.

My mind bounces around looking for answers to every question. I try to fill in all the blanks. Then I realize I can’t. I convince myself it’s fine to just chill. Then I think that I am wasting time if I don’t answer these questions. Then the paranoia kicks in and I wonder why I am not asleep. So I worry about losing sleep. Then we’re back to stage 1.

I run in circles through my mind looking for the door to escape this loop but I am running too fast to find it.

I slow down and look for it, then wonder why I am wasting time going slow.

Millions of thoughts flow through your head every single day. Most are so subtle and so brief that you don’t even realize they come to your mind. If you really slow down and think about the thoughts that come through your head, you become aware of how much you think.

I have made it a practice to sit and examine my thoughts. When I find my heartbeat speeding up, I take a second to ask why. When I find myself becoming calmer or getting goosebumps, I live the moment and enjoy it.

You are programmed to be on defense. It is part of your nature to do whatever you can to survive. But because of this, your mind is constantly reacting and analyzing every move you make.

It is nearly impossible to shut this off, unless you do one thing:

MASTER YOUR MIND.

For some, it seems impossible. But the more you practice mindful thinking, the closer you get to harnessing your greatest weapon.

Being mindful of what is going around me has made me more anxious at times, but I have been able to quickly figure out WHY I am anxious, and conquer this anxiety.

It is a constant work in progress. Like any muscle, the brain must be trained and exercised frequently to stay in shape.

A HEALTHY MIND PRODUCES A HEALTHY SELF.

Self esteem is conceived in the mind.

You can’t truly embrace the person you are until you realize there is nothing wrong with the person you are. If you are constantly fighting yourself and your thoughts, it is impossible to feel good about who you are.

I have struggled for years to convince myself that it really is okay. I tell myself it is, but I still struggle to believe it from time to time.

Becoming more mindful of the thoughts I think has gotten me closer and closer to mastering my mind and building my self esteem.

The more I listen to these thoughts and question them and analyze them, the more I understand my subconscious. There are a lot of things that I have subconsciously been telling myself for years that I have just now realized.

I HAVE SPENT YEARS CREATING MY OWN SELF-NARRATIVE.

Others have sculpted who I am, but after everything, I am the one who chooses which thoughts to listen to. This story about who I tell myself I am is my story. It is scary to think that you are the reason your dreams have been bound, but it is freeing to think that you can break them if you want.

The deep intrinsic thoughts that have been hidden in my subconscious for years have finally started to creep out. And how has this been possible you might ask? By becoming completely mindful of the thoughts that flow through my head.

Become more in tune with your thoughts.

Don’t believe everything without questioning it.

Ask why you tell yourself the things you do.

Just because that’s the way it always has been, doesn’t mean that’s the way it will always be.

“What you think, you become. What you feel, you attract. What you imagine you create.”

It’s all in your head.

Stop fighting it, start listening to it.