Filter

I wrote something yesterday.

But you didn’t see it because I couldn’t post it.

I wrote something different from what I usually write. It got to be too personal for my liking. I wanted to post it but I didn’t.

Instead, I filtered myself and will only let it live in my drafts.

NOT EVERYTHING THAT IS WRITTEN DOWN SHOULD BE SAID ALOUD.

The biggest advantage I have found in my writing is that it allows me to test thoughts and voices without actually speaking them out loud. It allows me to say exactly what I want to say, then go back and think twice about it.

I personally try to be as unfiltered as possible. That was how I started doing this writing. I would spend a few minutes trying to find focus in meditation and let my mind drift where it wanted to go. Then I would instantly jump on my computer and start writing down every thought that came to my mind.

I still do this, but it has become a lot more focused.

THE OLDER I GET, THE LESS I SAY.

I used to say whatever was on my mind without thinking twice about it. As years went on, I started to overthink what I say more and more. Now, I am very selective with the things I will say aloud. I spend a lot of time observing and contemplating.

With this, I am more confident when I do speak. I don’t just talk to hear myself talk. Instead, my speech is a rarity and when I do choose to say something, typically people will listen.

IT TAKES TIME TO FIND YOUR VOICE.

I am still finding mine. But I can tell you that it is a lot easier now. I have been consistently blogging for over 250 days now and finding the words to use has never been easier. The best part is, it will only get easier too.

For me, it is important to get myself in the right headspace before making big decisions. Yesterday, I did not feel like I was in the right headspace to post a blog. Rather than forcing it out, I decided that it was best to wait. After all, I do this for self-fulfillment, not for anything else.

Finding the right state of mind becomes tough when you don’t do the things you are supposed to do.

I have been out of my element lately. I have been away from my home. I have been drinking more than usual. I have been away from work, spending time with people I don’t see as much. I have been unfocused.

I haven’t done the best job of keeping myself focused in these situations. I have found myself getting distracted and making excuses for myself to not do the things I want to do and instead doing what gives me pleasure in the moment.

DAYS ARE LIKE A WAVE: THE HIGHER THE HIGHS, THE LOWER THE LOWS.

I continue trekking along. But you can’t only go up. That is not how life works. Sometimes you fall back a bit. You meet obstacles that you don’t handle as best you can. But you must continue on.

I hope I never give up.

I don’t think I ever will.

I know how much better my life is when I am consistently doing the things that I know will make me happier.

I need to filter out the vices that steal my happiness.

Then I won’t need to filter what I write anymore. My thoughts will be pure and focused like I want them to be.

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Thank you for reading!

My goal is to inspire self-improvement in others through my personal stories and experiences.

This is The Exploration.