Guilt

“Never feel guilty for doing what’s best for you.”

Am I a bad person for doing what I want?

This is a thought that makes me rethink every single decision I make. Guilt is a natural thing, it is actually a good thing. Guilt is your conscience telling you that what you did isn’t right and you should feel bad for it.

But should you feel bad if you didn’t do anything wrong?

The guilt I often feel comes from the possibility of letting someone down. It doesn’t necessarily mean I did anything wrong.

I think this type of guilt is programmed into us at an early age.

WHEN YOU DON’T GIVE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT, THEY MAKE YOU THE BAD GUY.

I have experienced it too often that when I don’t do what someone wants me to, I am the one who ends up feeling guilty. I do what I want for myself, and end up feeling bad for it.

I have figured out exactly what it comes from:

I CARE TOO MUCH ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK.

If I didn’t care as much about the emotions of others as much as I did about my own emotions, I wouldn’t feel this guilt.

I would never have to think twice about making a decision that will benefit myself better. But since I do care about the people who are close to me, I am left feeling guilty.

I am starting to question, if you are around the right people, do they still make you feel guilty for not doing what they want?

I believe the answer is no.

I have started to find people who I actually want in my life, rather than people who are just in my life, and I have never once felt forced to do something by them.

These “friends” who are constantly guilt-tripping me to do things are looking out for their own good before caring about what’s best for me.

I believe that if you truly want the best for someone, you will realize that letting them decide what is best for them is the most caring thing you can do.

I understand that part of being a good friend is being there for people when you don’t necessarily want to. But the thing is, I do want to be there. I don’t want to go to something because I feel obligated to. I want to go because I want to.

I hate the word obligation.

AN OBLIGATION MEANS YOU ARE NOT IN CONTROL.

You are enchained by something. You are not living your life anymore, your life is living you.

I have found out that freedom is not being free from everything, it means having the CHOICE to do as you please.

You could work 9-5 and still be free. As long as that 9-5 isn’t keeping you alive, you are free. If your work is literally keeping you afloat, you are not free, you are a slave. You don’t choose to go to work, you are obligated to.

There is a huge difference between wants and needs when it comes to spending money. But there is also a huge difference when it comes to how you spend your time.

If you are doing something because you WANT to, you are free.

If you are doing something because you NEED to, you are enslaved.

You could argue this all you want. I need to get my wisdom teeth out. You could call me enslaved by the dental industry, and the truth is, I am. I am no longer in control of what is going on. Somebody else is making the decision for me. But I am fine with it because I know it will affect my health if I don’t get it taken care of.

YOU HAVE TO PICK AND CHOOSE WHAT YOU CONTROL AND WHAT YOU LET CONTROL YOU.

As long as you are aware of what is happening, I believe you are always in control.

As soon as that awareness is gone, you have lost control.

Recognize your guilt.

Assess why you feel that way.

Determine whether you should or not.

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Thank you for reading!

My goal is to inspire self-improvement in others through my personal stories and experiences.

This is The Exploration.