Searching for confirmation

“Sometimes the simple solution is self acceptance.”

There is no clear cut sign telling you what is the right thing to do and what is the wrong thing to do.

And there never will be.

Life is just a big game of trial and error.

But doesn’t it feel better when somebody confirms the decisions you are making?

YOU FEEL MORE SECURE WHEN SOMEBODY CONFIRMS THE DECISIONS YOU MAKE.

Everyone is afraid of being wrong. Everyone is afraid of not doing it right. Everyone is afraid of being a failure.

So they search for somebody to erase their uncertainty.

I know because I do it.

I find myself searching for confirmation every single day. I tell myself I am sure of who I am and the decisions I make, then I still find myself scared to be wrong. I find myself asking for a second opinion, digging for compliments, searching for approval.

WHY? Because it feels good. It feels good to have someone confirm the thoughts you had. It feels a lot more secure when it is coming from someone beside yourself. But as you mature, you start to realize one thing:

THE ONLY VALUABLE CONFIRMATION, IS SELF-CONFIRMATION.

Why do I care what other people think?

If I don’t believe it myself, why does it even matter?

When you can truly convince yourself that your opinion is the only one that matters, you quit trying to prove yourself to everyone else and focus more on proving yourself to you.

When I feel like I am making the people I care about proud of me, it makes me feel good. But, I have become too reliant on waiting for their approval. I put too much stock in receiving a compliment from the most prominent people in my life. What I have realized is that making myself proud is exactly what they want of me.

THE PEOPLE WHO CARE DON’T WANT YOU TO DO IT FOR THEM, THEY WANT YOU TO DO IT FOR YOU.

It gives me added motivation to know I am making the people who I look up to most happy. But the motivation they give me cannot be the only source of motivation in my life.

For too long, this was my only source of motivation. I was solely focusing on what others thought of me. I was only doing what I did to make the people who guided my life proud of me.

I wasn’t doing it for me, I was living for them.

They don’t want that.

They want me to live for me.

THE SEARCH FOR CONFIRMATION IS A TRAP.

When you are constantly searching for someone to confirm your decisions, you lose track of the only person who you should really be looking for confirmation from: you.

Look to confirm what you think about yourself.

• I’m a diligent person. I prove it by following a set routine.

• I’m a hard worker. I prove it by setting high standards for my work.

• I’m an athlete. I prove it by working on my physical fitness everyday.

• I’m a writer. I prove it by writing a blog everyday.

• I’m an influencer. I prove it by changing the way others think about themselves.

• I’m a good friend. I prove it by setting time aside for relationships.

• I’m healthy. I prove it by tracking my calories, cooking complete meals, and drinking a gallon of water per day.

• I’m a creator. I prove it by what I synthesize each day.

The list could go on and on.

By making this list, I was able to confirm the things I know about myself.

So who else do I need to prove this to?

Nobody.

The only opinion that matters is the opinion you have of yourself.

Search for your own confirmation and know that’s all that matters.

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Thank you for reading!

My goal is to inspire self-improvement in others through my personal stories and experiences.

This is The Exploration.