Solo

“Sometimes you have to listen to yourself and be okay with nobody else understanding.”

I hear the cries but I don’t listen.

I only hear what I want to hear instead.

When I see weakness, I run. When I see tiredness, I scoff. When I see laziness, I roll my eyes. When I see tears, I turn away.

My body is telling me it’s thirsty but I have a hard time letting it drink. My stomach is telling me it’s hungry but I act like there is no food.

Why would you deplete yourself of what you need?

Maybe it’s a challenge. It’s a challenge to see how far you can go. Maybe it’s because you don’t like needing anyone.

Maybe you’re scared to say you do.

I don’t listen to myself.

I only let the words come through that I want to hear.

Why do I do it?

I DON’T WANT TO NEED HELP. I WANT TO DO IT MYSELF.

I sprint through each day. I have tunnel vision and only do the things that I tell myself I need to do and I just ignore everything else. I ignore all other feeling because it wastes my time. I don’t like to take time to feel anymore.

I only let myself feel it at times.

I ask myself all the time which is better?:

To feel nothing or to feel everything.

I used to feel everything. I used to get sad a lot more often. I used to feel like I needed people a lot more often. Now I just avoid those feelings by telling myself I’ll be alright. I think I have figured out a way to make myself better.

I just listen to the good things that come out of my mind and ignore the bad.

Maybe it’s bad to ignore the bad. Maybe I should listen to the weaknesses more often. But I don’t know, I feel okay living this way.

I really just started only listening to myself.

The more you listen to yourself the more you figure out what you want. A lot of your opinions of things are planted in your mind by outside influences. If you solely listen to what makes you happy, you can actually get there.

If they don’t understand, so be it.

You might not get this, but I do.

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Thank you for reading!

My goal is to inspire self-improvement in others through my personal stories and experiences.

This is The Exploration.