Tug-of-war

“Everyone always has an idea of who they want you to be. But the only idea you should listen to is your own.”

Since birth, you are being guided in the direction that the people closest to you want you to go. Obviously, at the beginning the main people guiding you are the people who are watching over you. For a lot of people those are their parents but for others it is another family member, a guardian, or a caretaker.

Everyone has different influences during their childhood that affect who they become as an adult.

As you grow up, these influences are trying to mold you into the person they want you to be. If they believe in individuality, they allow you to explore who you want to be, but their influence will always be felt.

At some point, you become so accustomed to the people around you guiding you that when they are no longer there, you forget who you really are.

FOLLOWING THE TRACKS THAT OTHERS LEAVE IS EASY.

MAKING YOUR OWN PATH TAKES A LOT MORE COURAGE.

Without the early influences, you would be off to a shaky start. You would have no sense of direction and be left to fend for yourself and discover everything alone. But because of those early influences, so many people get lost living a life that everyone else wants them to live.

Even in adulthood, everyone is searching for a guide. They want someone to tell them they are amazing, they want someone to make them feel comfortable, they want someone to tell them where to go. This is the exact reason that so many people fall into working a 9-5 under somebody else.

THEY ENJOY STRUCTURE AND DIRECTION, BUT HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO FIND IT ALONE.

It takes time to really figure out who you are. Especially when everybody wants you to be someone for them.

Your parents want you to work the job they always wanted.

Your job wants you to be the most loyal employee ever.

Your friends don’t ever want you to grow up.

Those are the people you see the most, so it’s not easy to just say, “here is what I want!”

There are millions of different paths through life.

Pick the one that works for you and quit caring what others say about it.

There is one ultimate goal at the top of the needs pyramid that I think everyone should chase:

SELF-ACTUALIZATION.

Definition: the realization or fulfillment of one’s own talents and potentialities.

The key takeaway from this definition is that self-actualization comes from fulfilling YOUR OWN dreams. You are using YOUR OWN talents and potentialities to do it.

Self-actualization does not come from fulfilling your parents’ dream, or your boss’ dream, or your friends’ dream. It can only come from you.

To me, self-actualization=lasting happiness. And that is all I am chasing in life.

Give up trying to fulfill what others want of you.

Chase what you want from yourself.

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Thank you for reading!

My goal is to inspire self-improvement in others through my personal stories and experiences.

This is The Exploration.