Unnecessary desires

“The few who do are the envy of the many who only watch.”

It is a human trait to desire what others have.

In fact, you don’t just desire what they have, you feel like you need what they have.

You go as far as working a monotonous job because it pays well, buying a house or car you can’t afford to impress, and doing what everyone else does because their lives look good.

But eventually, you come to realize you have been wanting a different life because you think that is the best life. You have developed desires based on what others have and want. You have groomed your life to fit the status quo.

It is scary when you really examine the so-called “dream” that most people live. Wake up, go to work for 8 hours, come home, rot on the couch watching TV, scroll social media, go to bed, do the same thing the next day. The average person lives for the weekend. They live to spend excessive amounts of money doing activities and buying food and drinks that give them more stress and anxiety.

IS THAT THE DREAM YOU DESIRE?

Upon further examination, the “dream” is not a dream at all. It is a reality that most people fall into chasing the desires they think they have.

What is telling you that this is your dream?

Your entire life, you are sculpted to believe this is normal. You grow up going to a school where this reality is taught, are surrounded by friends who believe the same thing, and see that “dream” portrayed in the media.

A time comes where you have to make the decision for yourself:

WHAT DO YOU DESIRE?

For most people, when that time comes, they choose to ignore this decision. It is much easier to maintain the status quo and keep following the pack. It is easier to do what is socially acceptable rather than actually pursuing what you want.

You don’t decide in one day what you want either. For me, it was about 3 years ago when I decided that the life that had been conveyed to me as being “the life” was not the life I wanted. I started to see how easy it was to follow the path that all my friends were going down. But I recognized that

IF I WANTED BETTER, I NEEDED TO CHANGE.

I continuously asked myself “Is this what I want?” I found out quickly that the majority of the things I was doing were not things I wanted to do. I had desires that stemmed from the people who surrounded me. They didn’t come from within.

The word “should” is one of the most convincing words you can hear.

The more time you spend with people, the more you value their opinion. So when you hear from them that you should do something, you start to consider if that’s something you should do. The more times you hear it, the more likely you are to do that thing. It creates a desire within you, and most of the time, it is unnecessary.

So here’s what you should do instead (see what I did):

1. Make a list of things that bring you joy

This list shouldn’t be things that are bringing you joy at the moment, it should be a list of things that have always brought you joy. For me, I find joy when I am able to care for and entertain others. This becomes a desire for me because I know the joy is lasting.

2. Find what can bring you that joy

If working more hours at a job gives you the money you need to buy something that brings you joy, then work more. But if you are sacrificing happiness for money to buy something you think will make you happy, it’s not worth it. Shape your life based on happiness.

3. Surround yourself with people who want the same

Once you have thoroughly thought about what you want, start to find people who want the same. That way your desires won’t start to become somebody else’s. You will be able to enjoy time with others while not being negatively influenced.

Easy right?

It may take time, but it is worth it.

Cut the unnecessary, unfulfilling desires from your life.

Fill your time with what YOU want and eliminate the things you are told you want.

The best part: the less you desire, the more you save.

Your pockets become thicker when you start only doing what makes you happy because you realize it doesn’t take as much as you think it does.

Desire less.

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Thank you for reading!

My goal is to inspire self-improvement in others through my personal stories and experiences.

This is The Exploration.